Scared of Girls (Stars: They're Just Like Us)
by Sara

He'd finally got Ashlee cornered in the most subtle way possible, boyfriend (hers) off at the bar, and boyfriend (his) off having some intense music geek conversation with Justin Timberlake, and so Pete and Ashlee were having an actual discussion on, something, stuff; Pete was just trying to not ask if she wanted to go make out. She laughed, which Pete hoped meant he'd said something intentionally funny, and twirled a lock of her blonde hair and sipped at her drink, and Pete hoped that little cartoon hearts weren't popping up in the air around him.

When he'd asked if there could be an Ashlee clause in their relationship, Patrick had just laughed and said as long as he got to sleep with William Beckett, and Pete said only if he could watch, and Patrick said he didn't actually want to watch him and Ashlee Simpson have sex, so it wasn't really a fair deal, and then he'd looked a little pouty, so Pete had to push him down and kiss him a lot and then he pretty much forgot about what they were talking about. As it sometimes happened. Patrick was not going to sleep with William Beckett, though. Well, Pete hoped not, at least. Or he hoped they'd wait 'til he was around to do it.

Pete felt a hand snake around his waist, and turned to face wide eyes, freckled skin, and a fall of red hair, and his mind clicked 'Lindsay Lohan' as his lips noted 'person kissing me' and then his brain was all 'whoa, Lindsay Lohan kissing me' and he kissed back for a second because, why not? She tasted like cherry lipgloss and vodka, and it was kind of interesting and cool-

"Oh Ashlee, I didn't even see you there!" Lindsay said, pulling back

- and so totally not about him at all, wow.

"Were you guys talking? Sorry to interrupt!" she continued. "Hi, I'm Lindsay."

"Pete," he said, shaking her hand, although at this point they'd pretty much exchanged hellos, he thought. Hellos with tongue.

"I know, you're totally cute, come hang out with me and my friends," she said, pulling Pete to her with one long-clawed hand around his waist. She towered over him, teetering in totally adorable wedge platform heels. He was trying not to stare at her breasts, but they were pretty much eye level, and hello, they were breasts.

Pete didn't think it was physically possible for Ashlee's eyes to roll any harder. "Go ahead," she said. "My boyfriend's on his way back over anyway. Lindsay, where's yours? He was looking pretty comfortable with Paris the other night, it's cool you guys have such an open relationship." Pete almost flinched at that one; even on his best days he couldn't aspire to the levels of bitchiness currently happening in front of him.

"Oh, we broke up," Lindsay said airily. "I'm on the market now. Just looking to hook up, you know?" she said, talking to Pete now. And, whoa. "Maybe just even for one night." Pete was suddenly remembering why he'd never been into the hot bitchy girls in high school. No, not just because they wouldn't actually talk to him. They were actually sort of scary.

"You know what? We were having a pretty interesting conversation before you showed up, I think maybe I'll send him your way when we're finished," Ashlee said, taking his arm and pulling him over, which was problematic because Lindsay wasn't letting him go. Patrick was across the room, heading vaguely over in their direction, and Pete willed him to see this happening. Him and maybe a press photographer, because holy fuck, how terrifyingly awesome was this.

Patrick glanced over, attention likely caught by the heated argument Ashlee and Lindsay were engaging in, and said, "What the fuck?" Or, mouthed it, it was pretty obvious that's what he was saying, and now he was pushing his way through the crowd, and Lindsay was tugging him in one direction and Ashlee the other, and seriously, where were the paparazzi when he actually needed them, it was necessary to his continued happiness that he have this on record so he could clip it out of US Weekly and stick it on the fridge.

"Um, hey, can I have my bassist?" Patrick said, elbowing his way between Lindsay and Ashlee and grabbing Pete.

"Who are you?" Lindsay asked. Pete totally did not like her anymore.

"He's my security," Pete said. "Ashlee, I'll see you around?"

"Sure," she said, smiling at him, and then threw her drink in Lindsay's face, and okay, time to go.

"What the hell just happened?" Patrick asked, leading him through the crowd.

Pete said, "This is the greatest night of my life."

Patrick said, "Can we go now?"