"You bought me a computer?"

Remy slapped the leather - Italian, Bobby guessed - case down on the bed, all grins. "Non, cher. Actually Jake bought it. I jus' picked it up."

Bobby thought about asking who Jake was, but then his eyes were drawn slowly down to the bed, as Remy unzipped the case slowly. He licked his lips as Remy's hands ever so slowly lifted the top of the bag, and--

"oh my god," Bobby breathed. "I'm so in love."

"Y' welcome."

His hand went to *touch* it, but then drew back, hesitently. "Is this for a job or something? are you teasing me with this morsel and then I'll have to give it back? because my fragile heart can't take that."

"non." remy leaned against the head board, eyes closing happily. "S'all yours, cher. Y' needed a better notebook."

Bobby frowned in defense of Sheila. It wasn't her fault she was made before USB cables came into heavy use. Loyalty sprang up in Bobby's heart for her, even as he desperately wanted to do nothing but sit in bed naked and play with this new little toy for the next three weeks. What an affair. "My last computer was great, it--"

Remy pulled the notebook out of the case - oh, it was so skinny. Skinny and -- Sheila would be crushed. Bobby resisted, even as Remy reverently opened the screen and started it up. He put it on Bobby's lap - and the faint warmth sat on his thighs, promising Excel and internet explorer open at the same time, promising so much more. So not fair. "Jus' try it out."

"Okay--" but bobby was lost. He stared at the screen as it flashed through a hundred things, and loaded in ten seconds flat. He could only sit there, helpless, as the computer asked him to put in a password string - which Remy leaned over his shoulder to type in - and then zipped through the rest of the boot up. "Jesus," he breathed.

Bobby, trying to resist, failing utterly, leaned forward. he put his finger on the touchpad, and gently started moving the cursor around, opening folders, going a little faster when Elizabeth - of course, an exotic name - responded immediately, eagerly, waiting for more. He exhaled. "I feel like Matthew Perry."

"hehn?"

"You know." bobby's eyes lingered on the screen - oh, and she already had his accounting software installed! she was wearing his settings! "in Bedazzled?"

Remy's voice was way too amuzed. "No, Bobby. Y'actually watched that?"

"I'm never getting out of bed ever again," Bobby stated, and turned to Remy. "Ever. Me and Elizabeth are going to make love like a whirlwind."

Remy was flipping through various cds still in the case. "That's nice, cher." He pulled out a blank one, with a bunch of ones and zeros on it. "Y'mind checkin' that out before the champagne arrives?"

"Buzzkill." Bobby stroked the top of the screen for a moment, then sighed. "what is it?"

"s'a possible job offer." Remy was flipping through a folder of pictures, that Bobby had missed utterly because he was riveted on Elizabeth. Ahh, and wasn't that how they always got you. head over heels so fast you couldn't think straight. "th' reason I got y' the laptop."

Bobby's fingers closed possessively over it. "I get to keep it." Not even any hint of question.

"Course. S'a gift, too. But y' need something more --" and Remy grinned. "Durable."

Bobby paused, the moment completely gone, now. That didn't sound very romantic; Elizabeth was nothing but romantic. Durable? "What?"

"y' got in y' hands th' first o' many notebooks designed to be bulletproof." Remy held up a picture; surveillance camera. oh. of course. "Literally."

Bobby stared at him blankly.

"the military's been usin' them, o'course," Remy continued. "That's th' first civilian one out. Jake picked it up f'me because I can' get any more through the Pentagon. an' he knew I was lookin' f'a computer f'you."

Bobby kept staring at him blankly.

Remy said again, "Bulletproof. As in, actually able to--"

"Stop bullets?"

"Oui."

Bobby stared at him.

"They ain' completely indestructable," Remy said. His face said he was plainly enjoying Bobby's confusion. That was all right; bobby would always have Elizabeth.

"So. okay." Bobby scratched his head. "This sexy little piece of technological orgasm will literally protect me from harm, should someone be shooting at me."

Remy nodded.

Bobby squinted. "I've been trying to think, and I still can't -- *why*?"

It was Remy's turn to look perplexed. "Cher, didn' y'hear me? It--"

"No, yes." Bobby stretched out, turning around in the bed to face Remy properly. "But who came up with this idea in the first place? Did someone suddenly leap up in the middle of a Compaq board meeting and screech 'won't someone think of the drive-bys!'?"

Remy glanced at the computer. It was sitting, innocently waiting for them to do something with it. He replied lamely, "s'a Panasonic, not Compaq..."

Bobby was beginning to get the suspicion that Remy had absolutely no reason for buying the thing except that it was new, sleek, and alluring. It didn't really matter, it was all his. Elizabeth. she was all his. Bobby glanced at the screen; she sat coyly on the duvet cover, blinking the cursor at him innocently. Bobby wasn't fooled. He knew her power, what she could do. He knew that she'd bend to his every whim, fulfill his every fantasy. He'd get that report finished in half the time. He was now a power user.

Bobby kissed Remy's cheek. "Thanks, Remy," and picked the computer back up. "But get out. Elizabeth and I need to be *alone*."

~