Let me tell you that this song's useful
Yes, this song's useful when you're really drunk
And you gotta learn the difference when I love ya
The difference when I love ya and whatever.

--Rufus Wainwright, "Heartburn"

Teddy woke up when Rufus fell into bed with him, smelling like bourbon and cigarettes. Or maybe that wasn‘t the precise second, because Rufus seemed to be pretty well established under the covers with him, already singing a bit of an aria from ‘Carmen’ in his sleep. Teddy threw his arm over his head to block out the noise. When that didn’t work, he poked at Rufus until he woke up.

“Oh, fuck,” Rufus groaned. “Whose bed am I in?”

“Mine,” Teddy said. “And if you want to stay here, you have to shut the fuck up and go to sleep.”

Rufus smiled a little, eyes still closed, and cuddled in closer. “Mmm. Teddy. Exactly whose bed I wanted to be in.”

Oh great. He wasn’t just buzzed, he was drunk. When drunk, Rufus tended to hit on every straight person around him. Even the girls.

“You should fuck me,” Rufus said. He opened his eyes, only a little bleary from sleep, and smiled.

Teddy rolled his own eyes. Yep. Definitely drunk, if his breath was any indication.

“Oh, shut up. I have long hair. I’m pretty. I have a girlish figure.” Rufus reached out, semi-blindly, till his hands hit Teddy’s skin. He slid them up, wrapped them in Teddy’s hair. Kissed him, lips tongue teeth and a hint of bourbon. When he pulled back, he said, “Come on, Teddy. Don’t you want me to be a girl?”

Teddy sighed and wrapped his arm around Rufus. “Nope. I’d rather you were the lovely little fairy that you are.” He expected a laugh, but when he looked down, Rufus was already passed out again against Teddy’s shoulder. Teddy sighed. “Shit.”

He did his best to go to sleep with Rufus’s drunken dead weight against him, but it was difficult, Rufus’s elbow in his side and his hair in Teddy’s mouth. He could only hope that Rufus wouldn’t remember this in the morning.

He didn’t want Rufus to remember that Teddy had kissed back.



For Shaunna-kins.

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