SHINY TOPS AND SODA POPS: PART ONE
"Oh my god."
"Oh my God."
"I know. I'm lookin' at this, too. Christ."
Aaron gave her one of those infuriating smiles. "You kiss your mother with that mouth?"
"You kiss your mama with your mouth," Jamie shot back, "and at least I've never had a dick inside mine."
"I wish I had his dick in my mouth," Aaron said dreamily, then leaned his head against the back of the couch with a sigh.
"First of all, ew. Second, he's like twenty or something, and you're only fifteen--"
"First, its not that bad. Its actually pretty cool, especially if you're on the recieving end. But don't tell your sister I said that or she'll stab me. And second, he was born on April 10th, in 1981, so that makes him..." Aaron thought for a moment. "Twenty-two. But I've done it with people way older before. And I'm closer to sixteen, now, anyway."
Jamie giggled helplessly for several minutes, ignoring the popcorn Aaron threw at her. When she could finally speak, she said, "You know his birthday? Okay. Thats it. You've become one of those little girls who can name all your pets and send you their panties in the mail. And also, you're so not even close to sixteen yet."
Aaron waved her off. "Don't talk to me about girl-panties, Jamie. You're ruining my Michael Pitt vibe. I'm still trying to figure out if he's wearing any panties."
"Men don't wear panties, Aaron. You big freak. And no, I don't think so. Those pants are so low you can almost see his--" Jamie cut herself as Aaron turned to grin at her slyly. "I'm not going to say it, Aaron Carter, so don't even think you can make me."
"Penis. Dick. Coooock," Aaron said, drawing out the word obscenely.
Jamie covered her ears. "La la la, I don't hear you."
Aaron leaned over and said into her ear, very loudly, "Take your hands off your ears or I'll tell you about anal sex again."
"Ew!" Jamie's hands flew down, and she glared at the smirking boy next to her. "You are just evil."
"And you love me for it." Aaron smiled sweetly and kissed her on the cheek. "The best little fag-hag in the world."
"Okay, I warned ya'll not to call me that." Jamie punched him in the arm. "I told you, I don't like that word. I'm your Big Non-Gay Female Best Friend, and you know it."
The conversation would have continued on in this vein for another fifteen minutes or so, but fortunately Britney choose that exact moment to walk into her living room. "Aaron! What're you doing here?"
Aaron smiled his most adorable popstar grin at her, lifting his arms up for a hug and even batting his eyelashes. Jamie rolled her eyes. "Britney! Long time, no see."
She hugged him. "You're certainly growing up nice. So... what're you two doin' in here?" She gave them a little 'wink-wink, nudge-nudge' look.
Aaron was just about to open his mouth and say something that was sure to be appalling, but Jamie managed to interrupt him. "Nothin'. Just...watching a movie."
Britney turned to face the screen, and then squinted at it slightly. "Jamie Lynn, why is there a naked man walking down an alley on my tv screen?"
"Its Hedwig and the Angry Inch," Aaron said. "You should watch it sometime, Brit, I think you'd really like it." He smiled big. "Hey, I'll even lend it to you."
"Yeah?" Britney smiled at Aaron, and gave Jamie that 'you have such a sweet boyfriend' look she hated so much. "So whats it about?"
"This young German boy gets a sex change operation so he can marry an American officer, but it gets messed up so he moves to America and forms a punk rock band."
Britney's eyes widened almost impercetibly, but her smile barely wavered. "Really? That sounds...very interesting." Sometimes Britney was too damn polite for her own good. "Who's in it?"
"John Cameron Mitchell--he was on Broadway awhile ago--and Michael Pitt. He was on Dawson's Creek for a little bit. Oh, and in Murder By Numbers last summer." He didn't bother mentioning the two newest movies because Britney didn't actually see most movies til they'd been on video for a couple of years--byproduct of a popstar life.
"Murder By Numbers? Oh my gawd!" Britney’s 'god's were always the most Southern thing about her. "My old mouse friend was in that movie. You know Ryan Gosling?"
Aaron's eyes widened. "You. Know. Ryan. Gosling?"
"Oh, yeah!" Britney said, enthused. "We were on MMC together a long time ago. I remember he was the first one who told me what a blow--" Britney stopped abrubtly, apparently remembering that her little sister was in the room. "Anyway. We were real good friends back then." She checked her watch. "Shit. I gotta call Mama and tell her how we are, or she'll call up screamin'. See you two kids in a bit."
Britney exited, waving, and Aaron turned to Jamie with a huge grin. "Jamie--"
"Oh, no," Jamie interrupted him. "No, no, no. I know what that looks means, and no."
"We could totally meet him. We could meet Michael Pitt."
Jamie rolled her eyes, then leaned over and knocked on Aaron's head. "Hello? Aaron? You're famous. You could meet him yourself if you really wanted to, anyway."
"No, cause all I go to is stupid Jive parties full of little blonde girls." Jamie's eyes widened, and he hastened to add, "Not that there's anything wrong with little blonde girls, but you know." He pointed to himself. "Gay. Anyway, its either Jive parties or parties with Nick, and he hardly ever lets me get laid, and those are all music people, too."
Jamie heaved a long-suffering sigh and sat back against the couch.
"Jamie, come on. You don't even have to be around for the seduction. You can, like, go home with Britney or something. Just get her to invite us to a party with Ryan Gosling."
"And what if Michael Pitt isn't there, huh? What if he and Ryan aren't even friends anymore?"
Aaron smiled confidently. "Then we'll figure out what to do then. Just get me in the same room with Ryan."
Jamie sighed again, but this time it was a sigh of assent. Aaron wisely chose to keep his triumphant laughter to himself.
Shiny Tops and Soda Pops: Part Two