Shark
Aaron misses the shark tattoo,
because Nick used to think of himself as a shark, all smooth lines and teeth,
living in the water. Aaron knows a lot about sharks, though; knows that a
shark's skin is just like thousands of tiny little knives, and if you run your
hand over it from tail to head, you'll get cut. Knows that sharks have a hundred
teeth and no bones, and that sharks are not people.
Nick is not a
shark.
Nick's skin is soft to the touch, soft and smooth and it never
hurts Aaron to touch him, except in his heart. His teeth leave red marks on
Aaron's body, his collarbones, his hips, but they always fade with time and they
never bleed except beneath the skin, red marks turning bruise-colored beneath
his clothes.
When the bone in Nick's hand was broken, Aaron kissed the
hard cast covering it, and Nick's face had scrunched up until tears ran down his
face, salt water on smooth skin.
Nick doesn't live in salt water; it
lives in him. Nick may pretend to be sharp and sleek, something that eats
humans, but he's just pretending, because its easier than adknowledging that
he's the one getting eaten.
Nick would like to be a shark, but he's hurt
too easily--his skin is too thin, and not covered with knives. Aaron is more
shark-like than Nick is, though he would never, never tell Nick that, never
adknowlege his own predator-mind and Nick's lack thereof.
Nick won't tell
him over the phone what his new tattoo is. He only says that the shark is gone,
covered up by ink and Nick's refusal to face the past, to face the fact that he
could never be a shark because he feels the harpoons that everybody shoots at
him, and refuses to pursue when he smells blood.
Aaron wonders what it is
that Nick thinks he is now.
END