"Face it, Lance. You have to grab your crotch."
Lance looked up from his perfectly normal, sane book to find a perfectly abnormal, insane Joey grinning at him. He fought his first two instincts (which were to a) blush, and b) hit Joey, respectively) and instead sighed in a way that he hoped was mature and long-suffering. "What?"
"In Bye Bye Bye. You've got to grab it. Its in the choreography, man. And you cannot defy choreography."
"Oh, fuck off." Lance picked up his book again and tried to read it, but Joey was on the floor in front of him, resting his arms on Lance's knees, and he was still grinning...Lance could see it around the edge of his book. And the top, when Joey decided to peek over it and wiggle his eyebrows lewdly.
"Its unavoidable, Lansten. And it can't be the first time you've grabbed--"
"That's it!" Lance hauled his legs up on the couch, knocking Joey's arms off of them in the process. And he was trying his damndest to be mad, he really was, but Joe was still smiling all big, and his eyes were twinkling at Lance, all 'play with me, for Chris has abandoned me.'
He sighed again, and put down his book, crossing his legs Indian-style (and his shoes weren't on, so Johnny couldn't bitch at him about the upholstery again) and leaned down to look at Joey, who was sprawled out on the floor. "I'm not going to grab my crotch."
There it went-full on happy-Joey grin. "Oh, come on! Everyone else is doing it," he fake-whined, sounding a hell of a lot like Justin. Possibly on purpose.
Lance fought to hide his own smile. "And if everyone jumped off a cliff?"
"Yes, Mom, I would jump. All those bodies would cushion my fall."
Okay, he had to laugh at that. No matter if he was being tough-on-the-issue-Lance. He gave the obligatory laugh, then made his face blank. With, um, hard eyes or something. No crotch-grabbing for this boy. "Well then, you and the other cliff-jumping folk can go off and grab your crotches without me." His brow furrowed. Okay, that just didn't sound right...
Apparently the same thought had occurred to Joey, because he too was trying to stifle some giggles. But then he went back to being goofy-but-convincing. "But no, okay, it'll just...look wrong, if the four of us are grabbing ourselves, and you're standing there, twiddling your thumbs, waiting for us to finish."
That too sounded ever so much wrong-er. But he wasn't going to laugh this time. "Snerk." Okay, maybe just a little. "Look, Joey, I just..." he wasn't squirming... "don't like it. Its, like, weird. And you guys grab yourselves other times, and I don't. So this is like, no big thing." Right?
Apparently not. And no, puppy eyes weren't going to work. "Come on. Lance. Even Justin will do it, and he's younger than you are."
Yeah, like that was going to work. Lance got up and went to the mini-fridge to get himself a soda. He would need sugar and caffeine if he was going to keep up with this bizarre argument. "Joe, you've shared a bus with him. We all know how comfortable he is with grabbing that part of his anatomy." He smirked, and turned around, and then almost dropped his soda.
There was a hand on his crotch. And it most certainly wasn't his.
In fact, it was Joey's. Apparently while Lance had been cracking Justin jokes and grabbing a soda, Joey had decided to grab himself some Lance. And um. If this was the way Joey was planning on convincing him, it just might work.
Whoa. Okay. The hell did that thought come from? But it wasn't his fault, because normal boys didn't look up to find their best friend's hand on their cock. So of course he was going to react abnormally to an abnormal situation. So what was a normal way to react?
Lance very calmly removed Joey's hand from his genitals and stepped back. Into the fridge. Okay, his ass was cold. Fabulous. Now what?
Joey smiled. "See? No big thing." His eyebrows twitched again, and he looked down. Smirked. Licked his lips.
Fucker. "No big thing, huh?" Lance smiled sweetly and reached for the front of Joey's pants. "You want to talk about who has no big thi-"
Whoa. Okay. Whoa. He had his hand on Joey's cock, and it was hard. Hot, even through the pants. And very very much not no big thing.
He blushed, and grabbed his hand back, and put his soda down on top of the fridge. Looked at his hand. Looked up at Joey. Looked back at his hand.
He swallowed. "Okay, I'll do it."