characters property of JK Rowling. no profit intended or made.
Worse Ways to Die
by bow.
"Moony--Moony, put the book down." Remus brought his knees closer to his chest as his bed curtains began to sway violently. Sirius emerged at the foot of the bed, grinning from a gap in the red velvet. "This is an intervention."
"Is it?" asked Remus, peering over Trouble-Free Transfiguration. "How thoughtful. I wasn't even aware that I needed rescuing."
"Fine, then." The mattress lurched as Sirius leapt onto the bed. "We'll call it a friendly bonding ritual." He waved the Marauder's Map above his head.
"Listen, if it involves breaking more than three--five school rules, I can't do it. Not tonight, not after last week's--"
"Come now, have a little faith." The bedsprings squealed as he shifted toward Remus. "You show a very damning lack of trust in our ability to avoid capture."
"I'm only thinking of the odds." Remus turned another page in his textbook, his thin lips pinched together to suppress a smile.
"Bugger the odds," said Sirius, his expression oddly grave. "Only think--tomorrow you could slip on a massive oil slick caused by Snivelly's hair, break your neck and die. Imagine your regrets in the afterlife." He leaned forward. "C'mon. You won't need these," he said, taking the reading glasses from the bridge of Remus's nose.
"Sirius, it's two in the morning!"
"You were awake."
Remus dog-eared his page and let the book fall shut. "Right, then. What do I care about house points? I'm only a prefect."
"I knew you'd see reason."
"Don't start. Just go and wake the other two."
Sirius shook his head. "Not tonight. I wouldn't relish James finding that I've nicked his invisibility cloak and his broomstick."
"What happened to yours?"
"The braking charm's, er, not in the best shape. Now, quiet if you're keen on staying out of trouble." Remus followed Sirius under the cloak, and they shuffled silently out of Gryffindor Tower. They trundled down several stone staircases, stopping at a mirror near the fourth floor Charms classroom.
Sirius tapped the mirror with his wand. "Lutwidge," he whispered, and they stepped through the looking glass and onto the Hogwarts grounds. Remus shivered. "Cold out here, innit?"
"A bit." Sirius held the Silver Arrow at arm's length, his eyes panning from tip to tail. "This is much better than mine. Looks quite sturdy."
"And if it isn't? If you wear out another braking charm?"
"Don't let's think about that." Sirius snorted. "Can you imagine the look on his face?"
"He'd gore us on his antlers."
"He would," nodded Sirius as he straddled the broom. "So here's to hoping."
"Right." Remus climbed on behind him, and the broom thrust forward into the brisk air, tapping their bodies together. "And slow down--really, you're crap at flying, and more speed couldn't possibly improve things."
"I resent that." Abruptly--as if to prove Remus's point--the broom took a sharp turn, sped to the South of the castle, and finally stilled, hovering fifty feet above the lake.
"Giant squid's probably asleep--care for a swim?" Sirius turned his head half toward Remus, revealing a narrow, white smile.
Remus squeezed his eyes shut and groaned. "That's why we're here? Do you have any sort of plan?"
"Truly, the complete absence of trust--"
"Would you trust you?"
Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Have I let you fall?"
"Well of course not, I didn't mean--just what are we out here for, anyway?"
"For this," said Sirius, twisting backward and pressing his lips to Remus's. Remus pressed back, and the landscape rushed by in a glorious blur of craning necks and warm fingers, of castle turrets and "mind that treetop!" as Sirius's trainers rustled the leaves.
The broom bucked without warning. "Oi, at least one hand on the broom!" gasped Remus. He'll kill us both, he thought, gripping the broomstick between his legs. Sirius tossed his head back and howled, his easy laughter spreading to Remus in turn.
There are worse ways to die, shrugged Remus, struggling to keep steady as they shot upward into the moonless, tattoo blue sky.
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