Series: Harry
Potter
Category: General
Rating: PG
Character: Peter
Warning: Angst, very slight implication of Sirius/Remus
Author's Note: Peter is one of those characters in Harry Potter I
feel nothing for. I don't hate him, but I don't specifically like
him, either. But I do think that he was just as much of a
Marauder as James, Sirius and Remus where. And this is his story.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J. K
Rowling. If I had written the series, Remus would never have left
Hogwarts.
Archive: Abstract Reasoning.
Summary: Peter reflects on his three friends.
To Become More
He remembers James's laughter, the low ring of his chuckling.
He remembers the black hair, always sticking out and never
surrending to neatness, the confident smile upon his face and in
the eyes. He remembers wanting that laughter, that courage, the
way James could smile back at those who laughed at him.
He never gained.
He remembers Sirius's wicked smile, the playful sparkle in his
dark eyes. He remembers the way Sirius made Snape blush with
anger with a nasty remark, the way Sirius made girls swoon over
every step he took, the way Sirius took Remus's breath away. He
remembers wanting that smile, that charisma, strength of mere
existence.
He never gained.
He remembers Remus's kind eyes, the silent sadness that fell over
him like a shadow. He remembers the soft voice, full with quiet
wisdom that always seemed out of place when looking at the
youthful face, how that voice deepened into a frightening growl
whenever the moon shone. He remembers wanting that kindness, the
way the gentle lamb could turn into a raging beast.
He never gained.
He remembers walking behind his friends, wanting so much to be
like them. To be brave, to be strong, to be wise. He wanted to be
like James, Sirius, Remus, wanted to become them.
He never did.
So he turned to /him/. The Dark One.
He remembers all the promises the Dark One made. Promises of
things better than courage, strength, wisdom. Promises of power
and respect, power and respect he deserved to have. Promises of
dark light in which he could stand, overshadow everybody else.
He remembers the price the Dark One set for those promises. Price
for power, respect, fame. All that would be his, he remembers
being told, in exchange of friendship he had treasured so. The
friendship he had needed to be a person worth of noticing.
He remembers agreeing.
Almost gaining.
1. January 2003