Good Girl

He left me.

He left me here.

It's all black. All dark.

I can't see.

I can't see a thing.

Why did he go?

I was a good girl, wasn't I?

I did everything he said..

I tried my best, Sir! I gave you my everything.

I don't deserve to be here.

Please Sir let me out, it's so cold in here.

And I can't see.

There's only the darkness..

But who am I talking to? He left already. He won't hear me.

He isn't standing behind that door, listening to me beg for mercy.

He hasn't been like that in a long time.

He no longer listens to me at all.

Just what did I do wrong? I know he likes it if I touch him like that, he has always liked before. And I know he prefers it if I don't fight back against him..

Even if I'm scared.

Even if I don't want him close to me.

Even if I want to run away as fast as I can.

But I did everything just like he would want me to, didn't I? I welcomed him to my body, even though I knew that he was going to hurt me! I allowed him to touch me even though his hands were so cold and heavy and hard, choking me. I thought I was going to die here, my breath cut out, but not once did I try to push him away.

He took everything I offered, too, If there was somehing wrong, he should have told me! I would have fixed it!

I don't want to be here.

I keep believing that there's someone moving in the shadows, but there's nobody here. I'm all alone.

I don't like being alone.

I was a good girl this time. I wanted to scream but instead I smiled, I wanted to push his hands away as he lead me around like some sort of price whom he could represent to his friends, a pretty little thing who never said a word against him. I didn't start a fight. I didn't draw any unplanned attention to myself. He even told me that I did everything right this time, he told me that I was a good girl! He said it himself! I don't deserve to be here!

It's so freezing here. This dress, it's beautiful, but it's tight and thin and it doesn't give me much cover. Not after he tore it, anyway. I wonder if that was what made him so angry? That I made him break it? But it wasn't my fault, honest, my attention wandered just for a moment and he scared me by grabbing me like that! He was the one to blame this time, I didn't do anything wrong. Why did he see fit to punish me?

Hush, someone just said something out there. Are they going to let me out? No? Shut up? Have I been talking aloud? Is that why my mouth is suddenly so dry? Silence it is, then. I don't want to be quiet but if that's what's going to get me out, then that's what it's going to be. He'll come to his senses. He will come to let me out.

I really hope that he will be in the better mood when he comes back. I was a good girl, but I guess he still wasn't satisfied with me, staring me like that all the time. He was the one to insist that I would accompany him on that meeting but yet he kept watching me in case I spoke too much to a wrong person, even though I did everything right. I didn't leave his side and I didn't look anybody in the eyes. I only spoke back when I was spoken to. I kept my smile on even back in the car. When he pulled me to him, I let him do whatever I liked. I smiled all the time. Not once did it drop off my face.

I'm still smiling. He hurt me and tore my dress and left me in the dark, but I'm still smiling. I'm a good little girl. I'll do everything as he says. He is my ruler, my god. As long as I do everything right, I will survive. I will wait until my time comes. I will get away from him one day.