Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII belongs to Squaresoft. All I do is borrow the characters.
Pairing: Cloud/Tifa
Author's Note: This story was formerly here as Born To Make You Happy, now hopefully with less sap. Nothing revolutionarily new and original, but hopefully still enjoyable.
Summary: Tifa watches Cloud sleep, thinking of their journey together.

It's Been A Long Day

Cloud is so so beautiful when he's asleep. He never looks this serene in daylight, with too many shadows of the past trailing after his every step, but at least in dreams he's allowed some kind of relief, and I'm not going to disturb that little peace. I hope he doesn't mind that I watch him like this, secretly, like we both used to do back in Nibelheim, when he still dared to love.

Why didn't I do anything back then?

I remember wondering just what kind of person he was, noticing that he never dared to approach me whenver I was out with my friends, settling with watching us from far. I know my friends never liked him, whispering things behind his back, and although I never listened, I never got to him, either, with someone always standing on my way every time I tried to talk to him. Maybe I should have tried harder getting close to him. It hurt him that I never did, but most of the time I didn't even notice. I guess I was a bit of a brat, never understanding just what I was doing wrong until it was too late.

Our only real conversation was when we made that promise on the well, was it really that long ago? He promised to come and rescue me if I was in trouble, my knight, bravely trying to wear his armour even if were much too big for him. I didn't persuade him to make that promise because I believed in fairytales, my faith in those dead along with my mother, but I wanted him to have a reason to come back, in case he became famous and forgot about where he came from. I guess it was a little girls' dream, born from craving for romance and happily ever afters, and even though we both knew it that was precisely what he did.

He loved me then. And I loved him, knowing he would be the only one I knew to keep his promises. I never got the chance to tell him that.

Just when I was ready to tell him that I had watched him back, felt the same way, our past burnt away by a madman's whim. He came for me, I know that now, but when it happened I though he was never there after all, that the sight of his blue eyes as the last thing on my mind was only a delusion, a lie from a desperate mind. I woke up in a strange city, alone and hurt, and as much as I'm ashamed of it now, I hated him back then, blaming him for betraying me when I really needed him. It took five years for that feeling to fade away completely, and that was when I met him again, with everything forgotten, everything lost.

It's ironic, how we fear no dangers nor difficulties if it's for the Planet, and yet we haven't been able to fix what was broken between us. All we have now is long, dark nights when we have only each other to hold onto, nights like these, when no words need to be said, no glances exchanged. When I watch down at him and wish that the calmness on his face would last to the morning, just this time, when he's trying to reach for peace he can never have when awake.

And now is the moment when the serious line of his lips, forever there, softens for a moment, when one single word escapes from his lips, when a shadow crosses my face for one moment:

"Aerith.."

The sole reason why he will always be haunted in awareness.

He is not the only one, of course. All of us still grieve her, and I'm no exception. How could I not grieve her after all those playful smiles, compassion of her green eyes, the trusty way she leant against my shoulder when sad and in need of comfort, after she gave me so much friendship in all too few months? Only Cloud was faster than me to rush to her side whenever an opponent turned out to be too strong for her. In the end, there was only one time when he wasn't fast enough, and that turned out to be most fatal of them all.

And knowledge of that failure will never leave him alone. He will always remember the girl who trusted him to look after her, to block away the danger whenever she was too slow to react, how she smiled to him in such trustful way as a sword pierced into her heart.. I remember it too, a scar drawn by the same sword always on my chest, but he was there to catch her as her last breath escaped her, watch the light of life fade from her eyes. All of us know that it wasn't his fault but the guilt will always be there.

But so will I.

It may be doomed, but I can't help but keep on hoping that one day, I can help him to get rid of that guilt forever, trying my best to be the optimistic one. I'll be always waiting for the day when he finally dares to open up his heart again, when I'll be able to ensure him that I'm not going away.

There is moistness in my eyes, threatening to spill out, but I swallow to ridden the tightness of my throat, careful not to wake him up. I don't want him to lose any moment of the pictureless dream he's dreaming, his only comfort.

However, there's something I need to say.

My eyes dry again, I press just a little closer against him, reaching out to caress his thick, blond hair. "We'll face Sephiroth soon.. but you won't have to do it alone." There is barely any wind, but it's strong enough to drown my words, but maybe he'll.. "I'll be there on your side until the end, like a friend would do for a friend. That's my promise to you."

I press my forehead gently against his own for a moment, his breaths cool against my skin. "Some day, there will be peace for you.. and I'll be there when it happens." A smile tugs my lips, only slightly. "You'll see."

"I really care." And I guess there was one last tear waiting in my eyes after all, traveling down my cheek as I draw away from him. "I don't know what you think, but I really, really care."

He doesn't reply, blue eyes remaining closed. I hesitate for a moment, then lean closer to his face, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. There is a mild, pleasant taste to his skin, sweet like anything long desired. As I pull away and look down at him again, his beautiful face is still in peace, but for a moment, I'm sure that the tight, familiar line of his mouth curls in a smile just for a moment, but in the dark, I can't really tell.

Is ther hope for us after all?

I press against his side once again, daring to drape an arm slightly over him. A friendly hug, no harm in that, with my wrist crossing his strong, vibrant heartbeat. He isn't a knight, but a real man, and instead of saving a princess, he was there for an ordinary girl. That girl is going to return the favor.

Our adventure together will end soon, Cloud. After that, it's time to let the new morning come.

11. April 2004